My Aunt Maria is one of the funniest people I know. At 64 years young, she is so adventurous and full of life. There are often times she makes me laugh to the point of tears. I don't know why I don't share more stories that involve her, so everyone can benefit from her humor. So I am going to share 2 of my favorite Maria stories for now. There will be plenty more to come.
Scene 1:
Headed out to spend the day at the park with the family. It is Summer in Texas so we know its going to be hot and sunny. Maria is going to ride with me in my car but said she needed to get something out of her car first. After a few minutes she comes over to jump in the back seat and says "I forgot my sunglasses at home, so I'm just going to wear these." I start to turn to look at her thinking that she will be wearing a hat, or maybe even some crazy shades just to get by, but instead I see that she is wearing 3D sunglasses that she got at the movies.
Scene 2:
My brother Chris is a gun guy. He loves to teach people about guns, how to shoot, safety, etc. As we are all having lunch one day at my house Chris starts to tell us how he wants to do a class for just our family to teach us basic gun safety. Maria chimes in and says. "I don't need to know how to shoot a gun because I would never buy a gun." She pauses, then continues "Well, I guess I should learn about how to shoot it just in case I ever FIND a gun." I start to ask her where in the world she is hanging out that she would have the potential to find a gun, but she starts up again... " Or I guess if someone came at me with a gun and I overpowered them, I would need to know how to shoot after that."
Not sure what goes on in that ladies head, but I sure do love it.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Survivor: Galveston Island
The Beach. A place to relax, catch some sun and not have a care in the world....
We arrived at our hotel in the early afternoon Sunday. We could not wait to get in the water so we changed as soon as we got there, and headed downstairs. We looked over the brown bath water that we call a beach in Texas with excitement. After lathering up with sun block (now in our late 20's Caitlin and I have traded in the baby oil for SPF5000) we went leaping into the water.
The waves were pretty strong so my mom, Rafi and aunt Linda stayed playing in the sand while Caitlin, my aunt Maria and myself took our floats and headed to the deep water. After only a couple of minutes in, I start to feel a little itchy. I thought it was a tag on my swimsuit so I moved it out of the way. No luck. I started to see all of this plant stuff in the water so I thought it must be that. I started moving it away, and still- no relief. Finally I look over at Caitlin and say "Hey- I'm really itching. Are you itching?" She says yes. Thinking we are going crazy we yell over at Maria.
"Hey Maria- are you itching?" As she looks over she is already scratching and assures us that its only in her shorts that she is itching. So that of course makes us feel better.
We immediately start running out of the water. As we get to the shore Caitlin pulls something off her leg that is a small blob with a dot on it. We now know something is in our swim suites and start freaking out. The only thing we have to rinse off with is ice cold water which is now being poured down our swim suites as we jump around screaming.
Upon research we realize we have been "attacked" by sea lice. YES, Sea Lice. These are jelly fish larvae and are abundant in warm beaches from April-August. Are you freaking kidding me. Sea lice. Who the heck gets sea lice. I had never even heard of this and I have been in Texas Beaches my whole life.
Needless to say after the itching had been washed away, we make the easy decision to not get back in the water. We will stick to laying out in the sand. I was sitting with Rafi digging a sand castle and trying to get over the sea lice situation when all of a sudden something hits my leg. I look down to find a 1 foot snake jumping around in my lap. In a split second I am screaming, throwing the snake away and running with Rafi to get away from it. Ok- now, how in the world did a snake end up in my lap?!? A seagull. Yes, a kind seagull who I suppose felt that I needed a gift after being infested with sea lice, dropped a snake out of the sky onto my lap.
So, now we have sea lice and snake- beach is over! We go to our hotel, burn our skin in hot water to make sure everything is dead and walk down the Sea Wall to go to an uneventful dinner. After lots of laughter and stories we are walking back to our hotel when suddenly this group of kids come speeding past us on bicycles. We hear some shouting, turn around and see a fight has broken out right behind us. My mom and Linda start running toward us to get out of the way, just as we see my Aunt Maria inching closer to the fight. Not sure if she was trying to get a better look or maybe throw some money in for a bet, but she was right in the action. After screaming (theme of the trip) at her, she finally gets over to us and we watch these kids go Street Fighter on each other. And I mean that literally. Traffic was swerving around them as they threw punches at each other in the middle of the busy street. Finally some guys run out to stop them, and then the police.
Realizing that nothing else we could do would top our triple threat of sea lice, snakes and UFC fighting, we called it a night, and in our world "a successful vacation."
We arrived at our hotel in the early afternoon Sunday. We could not wait to get in the water so we changed as soon as we got there, and headed downstairs. We looked over the brown bath water that we call a beach in Texas with excitement. After lathering up with sun block (now in our late 20's Caitlin and I have traded in the baby oil for SPF5000) we went leaping into the water.
The waves were pretty strong so my mom, Rafi and aunt Linda stayed playing in the sand while Caitlin, my aunt Maria and myself took our floats and headed to the deep water. After only a couple of minutes in, I start to feel a little itchy. I thought it was a tag on my swimsuit so I moved it out of the way. No luck. I started to see all of this plant stuff in the water so I thought it must be that. I started moving it away, and still- no relief. Finally I look over at Caitlin and say "Hey- I'm really itching. Are you itching?" She says yes. Thinking we are going crazy we yell over at Maria.
"Hey Maria- are you itching?" As she looks over she is already scratching and assures us that its only in her shorts that she is itching. So that of course makes us feel better.
We immediately start running out of the water. As we get to the shore Caitlin pulls something off her leg that is a small blob with a dot on it. We now know something is in our swim suites and start freaking out. The only thing we have to rinse off with is ice cold water which is now being poured down our swim suites as we jump around screaming.
Upon research we realize we have been "attacked" by sea lice. YES, Sea Lice. These are jelly fish larvae and are abundant in warm beaches from April-August. Are you freaking kidding me. Sea lice. Who the heck gets sea lice. I had never even heard of this and I have been in Texas Beaches my whole life.
Needless to say after the itching had been washed away, we make the easy decision to not get back in the water. We will stick to laying out in the sand. I was sitting with Rafi digging a sand castle and trying to get over the sea lice situation when all of a sudden something hits my leg. I look down to find a 1 foot snake jumping around in my lap. In a split second I am screaming, throwing the snake away and running with Rafi to get away from it. Ok- now, how in the world did a snake end up in my lap?!? A seagull. Yes, a kind seagull who I suppose felt that I needed a gift after being infested with sea lice, dropped a snake out of the sky onto my lap.
So, now we have sea lice and snake- beach is over! We go to our hotel, burn our skin in hot water to make sure everything is dead and walk down the Sea Wall to go to an uneventful dinner. After lots of laughter and stories we are walking back to our hotel when suddenly this group of kids come speeding past us on bicycles. We hear some shouting, turn around and see a fight has broken out right behind us. My mom and Linda start running toward us to get out of the way, just as we see my Aunt Maria inching closer to the fight. Not sure if she was trying to get a better look or maybe throw some money in for a bet, but she was right in the action. After screaming (theme of the trip) at her, she finally gets over to us and we watch these kids go Street Fighter on each other. And I mean that literally. Traffic was swerving around them as they threw punches at each other in the middle of the busy street. Finally some guys run out to stop them, and then the police.
Realizing that nothing else we could do would top our triple threat of sea lice, snakes and UFC fighting, we called it a night, and in our world "a successful vacation."
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| My favorite sign in Galveston |
Monday, July 4, 2011
The Interpretation of Dreams
This is the dream I had today...
-I was in a Chinese Prison.
-My "cell mate" was a super sweet Zombie who was really scared of me.
-When the guards were angry, they would release a sea creature to chase after us and try and sting us. It looked just like Patrick on Sponge Bob Square Pants, except with an angry face.
-I woke up each day with no memory of the day before. So each morning I would scream in fear and the Zombie would sit across the room and explain where I was.
Ummmm.... WHAT?!?
Take that Sigmund Freud!
-I was in a Chinese Prison.
-My "cell mate" was a super sweet Zombie who was really scared of me.
-When the guards were angry, they would release a sea creature to chase after us and try and sting us. It looked just like Patrick on Sponge Bob Square Pants, except with an angry face.
-I woke up each day with no memory of the day before. So each morning I would scream in fear and the Zombie would sit across the room and explain where I was.
Ummmm.... WHAT?!?
Take that Sigmund Freud!
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