It’s back to school time. All the feelings of excitement, nervousness, anticipation. It’s here. We are buzzing around the house (and stores) getting ready. Our last couple days have been filled with talks of who will be in class? What will the new teacher be like? Will we make any friends? And when I say WE, I mean ME! not Rafi.
Honestly, Rafi is way more laid back when it comes to this. She is secure in knowing she will have a couple kids from last year in class and will make new friends. She is certain she will love her new teacher. I on the other hand, am having an internal struggle. I love Rafi’s kinder teacher and she has become my friend. Now I am starting over with a new one. And most of the mom’s I have gotten to know will be in other classes. I have to go through another year of trying to explain my weird humor, sarcasm, and the fact that I wear work out clothes even though I am not working out. And then I have to hope that someone else gets me. At least 1 person. (fingers crossed)
The problem is that you know as moms, we can be super judgmental of other moms. “Why is she always late? Why is her kid’s hair always messy? Why does she let her kid eat non-organic food?” Like putting someone else down is ever really going to make you feel better?!?
And it’s hard to walk into that. All the anxiety of having to live up to the cool moms. The moms who have older kids and “know everything” about the school because they have been there for years. The moms who send their kids with perfect clothes and hair. It’s exhausting. And ridiculous. And doesn’t bring life or joy to anyone. (Side note- If you have not seen Bad Mom you should. I wish they were exaggerating on moms being like this but they are not)
So I say we pinky promise to not be shitty to one another. Let’s just try it. For a whole year. Let’s not judge the mom who is running late because maybe she works night shift as a nurse and is trying her hardest to get there. Let’s not assume someone doesn’t care how they look because they are in sweat pants and no make up. Maybe they have a parent in the hospital and have been stressing over if they will be able to make it through the illness or not. Maybe someone does want to feed their kid organic food, but right now they are just trying to make ends meet.
Finding out someone else’s situation and story will help each of us to not make assumptions and judgements. But this will require us to be friendly and invest in each other. When you go to drop off your kids are they all in school? Why don’t you invite a mom out to coffee who has 2 or 3 more little ones at home still. Trust me, she can use the company. Have you been at the school for a while and know the ins and outs of sports, field trips, etc? Well why don’t you offer some advice to those who may be new or struggling instead of just trying to be in some weird, exclusive club.
Let’s just do it as a social experiment. If it doesn’t help, well we can go back to being “Mean Girls” and wearing pink on Wednesdays. But my guess is you will be happier by not judging, and not being judged. We are all so different and can learn so much from one another if we would just break the walls down. So cheers to you all who are in full make-up and dresses at drop off. To those who are in no makeup and stretchy pants. To those who work outside of the home and those who work inside the home. To those who count macros and those who eat donuts in the morning. We are all doing the best we can.
Here is to a great school year.
