I woke this morning with sadness in my heart. I have become so unnerved by where we are as Christians. It seems that with each passing day there is more and more division between one another. I read this article that was going around the other day called “5 Bad Reasons To Leave Your Church.” It was immediately followed up with someone writing “6 Good Reasons To Leave Your Church.” Then someone else writes a blog about how “They Don’t go to Church Every Sunday.” And now someone else has written a blog with how “They Will Never Be Like That Guy and Leave the Church.”
AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Make it stop. Please for all that is Holy. What is happening to us?!? I know that I am nobody. I am not a pastor, I didn’t go to seminary. I have no paper that says you should listen to me. BUT- I have had a REAL encounter with Jesus. Many of them. And I have to tell you- none of them have ever turned me off to him. Every single time I am in the presence of Jesus there is LIFE. There is an endless amount of FREEDOM, LOVE, GRACE, JOY, PEACE, WISDOM, HEALING, and RESTORATION. And that is what we should be sharing. That is what we should be taking to people. That is what the world needs. We don’t need to be fighting amongst one another. Telling each other who is less holy than another because they don’t do things exactly the same as you. The people who are misrepresenting Jesus- that is what is turning people off. Jesus loved us while we were sinners and we can’t even love one another once we are saved.
In walking with Jesus I have found my deepest wounds have not come from those living in “the world”, but by my fellow believers. Over the last 6 months I finally took Jesus out of a box. I have taken limits off of how and where he can speak to me. How he can use me. How he can love me. And how I can serve him. In sharing this with people that I have held dear to my heart- I have not only been told I was wrong- but that I am in fact being deceived. UGH. Talk about pain. People that I have looked up to, that I expected to hug me and say “I am so proud of you for running toward Jesus so freely,” instead took my heart and crushed it. And it hurt. But the real pain came in the revelation that I have done this so often with people in the past. If you don’t think like me- you are wrong. So- my word actually trumps what Jesus is saying to you. Oh how broken I am because of that.
No longer will I allow this kind of hate to be spoken into my life- nor will I do it to others. I have learned that love wins every time. So for now- I am throwing up the white flag and surrendering my title of Christian. I’ll call myself a Jesus follower or Jesus freak or whatever else my creative free loving Jesus people like to call themselves. What I won’t do is box myself into some category of people who claim love but speak hate. Who claim unity but cause division. I will chose the road less traveled where I don’t have time to judge you for being wrong because I am way to busy showing God’s love- which is always right.
This is really biblical love in operation that you are extending despite the hate you feel - 'love wins every time'. Very painful what you are going through, but part of the sanctification process the Lord has chosen to allow you to walk through. I am sure you have clung to Jesus more fiercely and cried out to Him for refuge more than you would have otherwise. I am praying for you, Jessica. It makes me think of this scripture: I Have Stilled My Soul
ReplyDelete"A Song of Ascents, of David. O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; Nor do I involve myself in great matters, Or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me. O Israel, hope in the LORD From this time forth and forever." Psalm 131: 1-3 ..May He comfort you now.