Embrace

At the beginning of each year I pray and ask God what my “word” for the year is.  This is a practice that I have done over the last few years and it has proven to be extremely helpful in navigating through the year. (You can read about my Journey for Joy  from 2015)

This year’s word threw me off from the start.  EMBRACE.  Well, that doesn’t sound like fun.  I immediately thought of a physical embrace and for anyone that has known me some time- you can recall that I am certainly not a hugger.  Or I used to not be.  I am getting a bit better as God softens my heart.  I usually only like to hug if I am the initiator, and I know the person pretty well.  But just last week I saw my friend Dana and we hugged and we had a great laugh about how it wasn’t even that awkward for me.  I didn’t go in with my mouth half open like an uncomfortable first date kiss.  We were both pretty impressed with my growth. 

However, as this year has progressed I realize that is not what God had in mind.  As I mentioned in a previous blog it has been a difficult year of loss.  We lost both Tony’s dad and my grandma in just 2 weeks.  We finally felt like we could take a breath for a day after my grandma’s funeral and the kids and I were out playing in the yard one morning. They saw my neighbor and went running over to say hello and her cat had died, who of course my kids adored. (Because we won't let them have one) And it hasn’t just been through death that loss has happened. We inherited 3 chicks who all turned out to be roosters. Seriously, what are the chances?!? So between all the death we also had to get rid of 2 chickens. My kids were once again crushed. I am sure chickens may not be a hard loss for some, but when you are 6 & 4 its a pretty big deal. 

And then, yesterday,  my friend moved across the world.  My friend that has lived life alongside me, almost daily, for over 7 years.  When we met she had 2 kids and I wasn’t even pregnant with Rafi yet. Since then we have added 4 kids to the crew between us.  We have seen birth. Experienced the loss of parents and grandparents.  Have served endless hours in ministry.  Have seen many women be healed and freed.  And have experienced so much of that for ourselves.  Job changes.  House moves.  Celebrated joys.  Cried from sorrows. Ran a million miles (I should be skinnier).  Sent zillions of texts.  Hours of phone calls. You get it.  We are friends.  Really great friends.  And she has moved to Singapore.  Just for a couple years, but still, way too far and too much change than I am comfortable with. 

Now, back to my word for the year. What does embrace have to do with any of this?  Well, let me tell you what starts to happen internally to me after all this loss.  My dialogue goes something like: "Why bother loving people or investing in relationship when eventually they won't be here?  Don't get too close because this is going to end up hurting.  Life is just so much easier when you trust little, love little and do everything on your own."  (Am I the only one that occasionally has these thoughts?!?). I know deep down this isn't true, but sometimes it feels like this is the safest path to travel.  

But I have clung to that word and God has reminded me often this year that I must embrace change.  That I should love people well while I still have them.  That his plans are always better than mine, and embracing his love, grace and mercy will always lead to goodness. 

So life looks different a little over half way through the year than it did at the beginning.  We have had some loss, but we have gained much.  Since January we have moved to a new house and added a joyful baby to the family.  We are now the proud owners of 3 chickens (2 of which are not roosters-hooray).  We have made new friends, gained great neighbors and grown closer to our families. We have had a deeper understanding of God's love, provision, and plans for our lives.  

And the bonus that I didn't ever see coming was how much Tony and I would grow together through all this change.  Learning to lean on one another through the pain, joy, and adventure.  After ten years of marriage we may finally be getting this thing down! 

What does your 2016 look like so far? It's a good time to do a check and make the most out of the rest of the year. Join me in embracing goodness, kindness, joy, Jesus- and when it's not too awkward- each other.